guest post: Fulfillment on a Full Plate

guest post by the lovely, Laura Maphis

“When we are hungry for something to make us feel good about ourselves and we refuse to take care of our inner needs, we do stupid things”  
Debbie Ford

I have a feeling that most of us can relate to this statement. At the risk of sounding miserable and melodramatic (I’m not!), I can tell you that I have spent the majority of my adult life thus far eating efficiently rather than nutritiously; exercising my mind to the point of emaciation (2 words- graduate school) while ignoring my body’s need for exercise; keeping late hours; and denying myself much flexibility for breathing, creating, and being. I relied on caffeine and nicotine to get me through. Eight years and a Masters degree in clinical HEALTH psychology later (oh, the irony), it dawned on me that our vices- not the type necessarily but their mere presence and the frequency in which we employ them- might be telling us something. Maybe certain things in our realities are amiss, or our realities are not aligned with how we envisioned our reality being, and as a result, we feel badly.

            People handle negative emotions in a variety of ways. We may quickly react in an effort to make the bad feelings go away (think how little time elapses between an itch and a scratch) or we may over-indulge those negative feelings and let them take hold of us (e.g., listen to sad music, not dress ourselves for the day because we don’t want to face it).  For either of these scenarios, the recourse may be turning to our vices- whether that means having 1, 2, 10 drinks too many, eating a gallon of ice cream, smoking, emotional wallowing- the list continues and varies from person to person. So you have found yourself turning to your vices more often lately. Is this solution to change your reality? Maybe. Perhaps, though, for the sake of parsimony and those life circumstances that are more “fixed” than others, it’s more practical to change the way we find fulfillment in our current realities. Take a pre-emptive stance- don’t wait for when you are feeling badly to practice self-care.

Self-care involves TLC of mind, body, and soul. Since my 26^th birthday, I have worked to increase my self-care and sense of personal fulfillment within the bounds of my current reality- a reality filled with late nights, mental exhaustion, performance anxiety, and high personal and professional standards. One of the biggest changes that I made involved my relationship with food. Changing how I viewed, consumed, and even felt about food helped me to better take care of myself and thus better my reality. As a result, I physically feel healthier. Cooking, cleaning (really, cleaning!), and, in particular, grocery shopping, have become akin to praying. While in the kitchen, I am listening for the rolling boil of water on the stove, sniffing for the first hint of olfactory pleasure, admiring the colors and compositions on my plate, and both challenging and pleasuring my palate. I am able remain in the present moment. Moreover, my new-found confidence has allowed for crazy culinary undertakings (grilled rare ahi tuna with a cilantro wasabi aioli created by yours truly!). My creativity, too, as I am pleased to report, sprung forth from its underground well. Like Gretchen Rubin, author of “The Happiness Project” said, “I wanted to change my life without changing my life, by finding more happiness in my own kitchen.”  What Gretchen means is that we don’t necessarily need a huge life-overhaul to move our current realities closer to our ideal realities.

Through research and personal experiences:

1.      You don’t have to give yourself a life makeover. In fact, too many changes in too short a time can set folks up to fail, and people end up abandoning all of the changes they initially set out to make. Start small.

2.      How do I start small? You start by listing changes you want to make for yourself (what do I want to stop? Or, what do I want to start?), then you have an honest conversation with yourself. Try this method once you have generated areas for change/growth: on a scale of 0-100 (100 being 100%), how likely are you to actually initiate and follow-through with a particular behavior? Ask yourself the following questions to help you hone what you want to work on. What has kept you from quitting X or starting X prior to now? What do you foresee getting in the way of your success (e.g., lack of time, the people you surround yourself with, financial cost)? What would you be willing to do in order to make your change more successful (e.g., get up an hour earlier, pay for a baby-sitter once a week)?  You must choose manageable goals. This is crucial. Lofty goals with improper self-assessment (i.e., Am I ready to do this?) can hurt your belief in your ability to achieve goals.

3.      If the thought of self-care is daunting, change the way you think about it. So you have a lot on your “plate,” and adding something to it is daunting. And your metaphorical life “plate” is full of cafeteria-grade food. Though your plate may feel a little more crammed, self-care is the decadent dessert that will overshadow the cafeteria-grade food and will transform your overall plate to something much more palatable.

4.      Accountability! It is super helpful to monitor your changes (e.g., writing down what you did in your planner, checking-in with a supportive other). Telling you about the changes I am making helps me remain accountable for them!

5.      With the aforementioned said, don’t take your own rules for change too, too seriously. You don’t want to overly frustrate yourself for trying. In our realities, sometimes we have to sacrifice self-care in order to take care of ourselves. That is, sometimes I have to skip the gym in order to get to bed at a decent time when homework still awaits me.

My advice has been for bigger changes, such as those you would learn to integrate into your routine. Don’t underestimate the little things you can do to bless yourself and your circumstances daily, though. Paying particular attention to the colors of a sultry sunset, taking a few moments to breathe, letting a fond memory linger a little longer, reciting your favorite poem in your mind as you wait for the grocery store check-out—self-care can be as simple as taking small opportunities to reconnect to your inner life. According to Debbie Ford’s logic, we will all be a little smarter for it!

 

guest post from Victoria: the right way to loose it & keep it off.

From my darling sister, Victoria Hayden (soon to be registered dietitian):

Statistics show that ~45% Americans set New Year Resolution goals, and ~20% of those goals are usually related to weight loss. But only 8% of people report being successful in achieving those goals…I get asked a lot, so how do I actually achieve weight loss?

I will be registered dietitian in approximately a month (so excited to almost be there!), and  have chosen to concentrate my internship process in adult weight management. Because to me, helping people feel good about themselves through achieving healthy weight loss and preventing co-morbidities like diabetes and heart disease, is probably the most rewarding job on the planet.

The truth is- weight loss is extremely difficult. Yes, you need to burn more calories than you eat to have weight loss, but it is a lot more complex than subtracting 500 calories a day from your diet.

So back to the question, how do I actually attain weight loss? 

1. RECORD what you eat. Yes this seems silly. But when you right down everything, and I mean serving sizes and all, you can keep yourself accountable.
2. EAT. Yes. You have to eat to lose weight. 3 meals a day is a minimum, but research shows that 5-6 small, frequent meals a day is the way to go. I know this seems tedious, but think about it. If you are constantly eating small meals, you are using those calories to fuel your body and not storing the extra calories from larger meals. It is a huge misconception that you need to starve yourself to lose weight. If you do that, your body goes into a conservation mode, and conserves all lose calories you are trying to burn off!

Note: When eating a meal, eat a combination of all 3 macronutrients- carbohydrates, protein and fat. Think of the macronutrients as a campfire, the carbohydrates are the gasoline that will initially start the fire, but without the wood, aka- protein and fat, the fire will not last long. You need all 3 of the macronutrients for your body to work properly, to avoid hunger and to be satisfied with the way food tastes.

3. Be MINDFUL. We generally eat because it is the time of the day to eat, or because we are bored/stressed/sad/happy/etc. Listen to your bodies hunger cues. Do not use food as a coping or reward mechanism. This is a huge struggle for many people, myself included. This is so much harder than it seems, and  it’s okay! But simply being aware of why you are eating will help so much through identifying ways to help the weight loss process.
4. Set REALISTIC goals. Weight loss takes time, 1-2 pounds a week maximum for healthy weight loss. Most people hate this. But when you lose more than this, you are losing fluid and wasting muscle. We want to lose fat, not muscle! Take your time, and set a goal that is truly attainable.
5. EXERCISE. Exercising helps not only with weight loss, but also prevent certain diseases, helps deal with stress, cope with depression, and makes you feel great about yourself.
6. Have a SUPPORT system. Someone you can talk to say that will be proud of you for working out 4 times this week, or someone you can call when you just ate an entire box of Oreos to tell you that it is okay and not to give up on your goals. We all have bad days, and have support is the key to getting through those days.

*side note from me:

Victoria is my support system (which I didn't even realize until I read this). I call her when I’m lacking endorphines from not working out in 3 days and I think I’m going crazy. I call her when I feel guilty about what I ate that day. She makes me rationalize it all and feel better and be PRESENT.  It really helps to have someone there for you…so if you don’t have someone, I am here. Email me- don’t feel weird about it- I’m here to listen. It really helps..

Red wine bath time.

If you have lived with me- you know that I only do baths. Like- all the time. I love them. I do shower to rinse- no worries. But I take a bath daily. Not a long one every time (especially since the hot water in my apartment runs out after about 3 inches have filled up-ugggh) but every once in a while I like to soak for 30 minutes to an hour.  

Bubbles are great and all- but they really do nothing for your skin. Recently, instead of drinking red wine, I’ve been bathing in it. Just about one glass to half a bottle in a tub is PLENTY. My skin feels SO soft immediately after drying off and has stayed that way (with the use of moisturizers everyday as well of course). Red wine is full of antioxidants and yeast which hydrate your skin.

I also let my hair soak in it for a while. This is only a good idea if you have dark / red hair. This will accentuate the color of your lovely locks!

Simplified spray tan directions.

The directions I posted in the post Get Your Glow On intimidated some people because they were so intense. Heres an better way to show just how EASY it is to actually get a perfect tan from a bottle. For reals. Let's keep our skin young ladies. I will totally make fun of you and tell you "I told ya so" you're looking like a brown leather bag when we are 55.

·         Just take your jewelry off, put hair up.

·         Shower, shave and exfoliate. Don’t put lotion all over your body/face after.

·         Put a towel underneath/over anything around you.

·         Put lotion on elbows, ankles, knees and throat. (rough skin areas) before and after spraying.

·         Spray away about 12 inches from skin. If it looks uneven you can blend it in easily (do so gently).

·         Wash hands immediately after (get in between fingers- I wear plastic gloves from $1 store)

·         Make sure not to sweat or bathe for 8 hours after.

·         The longer you wait – the more golden and longer lasting tan youll get.

click HERE to buy. trust me. just click it.

guest post: casey cline. top 10 pretty little products.

When I first started wearing makeup and learning how to do my hair, I was a little tornado of disaster.  First of all, I have crazy wavy baby hairs that never grow out.  I didn’t understand back then that I should first apply some sort of healthy product to my hair, then blow dry, and then, if I have to, use a flat iron.  Instead, I was flawed in thinking that I could straighten my hair while it was still wet.  That meant a lot of sizzling, smoke, and bad terrible hair days. 

My makeup and skin routine wasn’t much better.  I remember buying those Noxzema cleansing pads and using those to remove my makeup.  Now, I don’t know if you recall this or not, but those pads were strong and sometimes burned (and I have ultra sensitive skin).  Imagine using at least 5 every day to take off caked-on makeup.  Yikes.  No wonder my skin was dried out and blotchy red.

Fast forward a few years and I’m thankful to admit that I’ve learned how to take care of my hair and skin properly.  It doesn’t hurt that I’ve also learned about other great products along the way.   

So now let me present to you a few of my favorite pretty little products (and a few other extras I enjoy).

1. Pond’s Cold Cream:  A far cry from the Noxzema pads, this cream is timeless.  A makeup remover that simultaneously moisturizes?  Yes, please.  Plus, it has bonus sentimental value for me: my mom has always used Pond’s, so I can’t help but think of her every time I use it.

2. Essie Mint Candy Apple: This nail color is part of the Winter 2009 Essie collection and I’m still obsessed.

3. Walgreens Twisted Peppermint body lotion: I found a bottle of this in my Mom’s bathroom when I was home over Christmas, and I had to steal it (Sorry Momma!).  The smell is sweet, but not overwhelming.  But the real kicker here is how amazing it feels on your skin!  The hint of peppermint makes it go on smooth and minty fresh.  I’m not sure if this is still even available, but I know Bath & Body Works has a version that I’ve yet to try.  Hopefully it holds up to the Walgreens.

4. Moroccan Oil: This is on the pricier side, but worth the splurge.  Not only does it protect your hair from heat damage, it keeps fly-a-ways smoothed down (without weighing down the rest of your hair) and smells incredible.

5. Rosebud’s Salve (in a tube): I was first introduced to Rosebud’s Salve by a friend back in high school, and have been a fan ever since.  Imagine my delight when I realized they’d started selling it in tube form (so no more messy lip gloss fingers)!

6. EBoost: A yummy alternative to Emergen-C, my boss discovered EBoost and I have to admit I prefer it.  My favorite flavor is acai pomegranate.

7. Grapefruit:  I’ve recently fallen in love with this fruit, even going so far as to buy a special sectioning knife and grapefruit spoon.  Grapefruits are relatively low in sugar (compared to other fruits) while simultaneously low in fat and high in fiber.  Oh, and they’re delicious.  Win win win win.

8. Black coffee: I know there is a lot of back-and-forth regarding whether or not coffee is good for you, but as an avid drinker, I’m surprised to admit that after years and years of adding milk and/or cream and sugar, I’ve converted to black.  It’s been a very recent change, but somehow my taste buds have adapted and I’m now a big fan!  Whether or not you think coffee is healthy, at least the lack of sugar and milk is.

9. Body Pump: Straight from the website: “BODYPUMP™ is the original barbell class that strengthens your entire body. This 60-minute workout challenges all your major muscle groups by using the best weight-room exercises like squats, presses, lifts and curls. Great music, awesome instructors and your choice of weight inspire you to get the results you came for – and fast!

I’m starting to realize how important and effective strength training is, especially as we ladies start to get older.  Adding light weight-training to your regular workout produces faster and more beneficial results.  If your local gym doesn’t offer Body Pump, I suggest any similar class or even buying a few light dumbbells and looking to the latest issue of Women’s Health magazine for workout ideas you can incorporate on your own or even at home.

10. The Steam Room: I fell in love with the steam room at my hometown’s YMCA and was thrilled to find that my new local gym has one as well.  Going into the steam room for 10-15 minutes after my workouts is like the icing on a good exercise cake.  It opens my pores and relaxes me to the max.  I always leave feeling refreshed and at ease.

meet casey samantha cline. she is 25 today by the way!

and she lives in NYC> super jealous.

love her genuine laugh here.

breaking it dowwwwwn.

my high school ladies.

what happens in vegas...

Vitamin Boooooost

Exactly one month ago I began a vitamin routine. Five days a week I take a prenatal multivitamin (purely for the vitamin use, not trying to be a mommy any time soon), and iron and calcium supplements.  Within two weeks I felt the effects but thought it could just be in my head. Once month later, I have noticed longer and stronger nails. My skin is has been rather clear. I am sleeping really well. I feel completely energized throughout an entire day. My sister, nutrition major at Clemson University (and aspiring Registered Dietitian), can provide technical feedback.

This is my best at explaining things without making it too scientific lol:

First of all, it is always ideal to eat food to recieve your daily amounts of vitamins and minerals rather than take supplements. Unfortunately, most people do not eat enough of the right food to get the amount of vitamins and minerals we need. So in that case, it is a good idea to take supplements. Now, prenatal vitamins were recommended to us by mom because they tend to have higher B vitamins doses (this is to support fetal and brain development in a fetus). Since B vitamins are water soluble we can't overdose so it is not harmful for us to take daily. B vitamins are our energy metabolizing vitamins, meaning they help our bodies use the fuel that gives us our energy. As a side not I also take biotin (B7) supplements as this is the vitamin that will help your hair and nails grow.

I would also highly recommend any vegeterians taking B12 supplements, the only natural source of it is in meats (small amount in dairy), and although you can get enough of it from fortified foods (like cereal). If you don't eat a lot of meat, especially red meat, you may be anemic. Anemia is most commonly cause by deficiency in B12, folate, or iron and can cause fatigue, pale skin, shortness of breath, dizziness, and headaches among many other symptoms that can become much more serious.

Most people probably get plenty servings of dairy to be sufficient in calcium (need approximately 3 servings a day). But if you don't get enough you can cause impaired bone development (bones develop till age 26). I would maybe also recommend taking vitamin D supplements because the recommended amounts has increased and studies are showing most people do not get enough (you can find it in fortified foods like orange juice or through sunlight). You need vitamin D to use calcium efficiently.

I would recommend taking the vitamins every day, and it takes about 3 months to get full results.

-Victoria (aka Tori) Hayden

Wow- I feel like I should take notes lol. Thanks sissy!

allure: best of beauty 2010

The issue is out! Thank you Lindsay for letting me know! This issue is a must- but what is even more helpful is the iphone app. You can find all of the winning products and where to buy them on this app. It really helps out when shopping! Eight products I have blogged about made the list! Pretty cool. Go get the magazine or app! Peace out my lovelies. 

spice it up.

I feel like fall is a good time to revamp your life. The best way to start at that is with the superficial stuff. I mean- who doesn’t feel like a new person after purchasing an entire new wardrobe?  However- this isn't financially the most brilliant thing to do every year. So here are some little things I like to do to spice up my look. 

• Change up how you do your makeup. Buy a new lipstick and make it your own or try a new way to do your eyes. I like to keep it simple during the day - however, I LOVE color eyeliner on my top lid. It creates a different look without going overboard. Right now I’m using a lot of N.Y.C's super cheap ($4 and under) color eyeliners- in sapphire, teal, and lavender.  
• Accessorize. A skinny belt over a sweater or loose blouse can transform your outfit. Also- HUGE necklaces are everything right now. They make a plain tee look like you had a stylist in your closet. Also patterned tights. I am scared to try out the ones I purchased (don’t want my legs to look larger) but im just going to go for it.
• New shoes. Fall is a fabulous time to buy new shoes (especially boots). They can make your outfit look very put together and stylish in a second.
• Outerwear.  Don’t wear a jacket simply to keep warm. Make it part of your look and incorporate it into what you pick out to wear everyday.
• Do dark nails. I love dark nails in the fall. This is just my personal opinion.

Here are some non superficial ways I like to refresh in fall. 

• Sit outside and stare at the trees once a week for at least 30 minutes. Just let your mind go where it wants to go.
• Start a new book.
• Turn off the TV and just do something else. Save it for when it's too cold to play.
• Take a mini fake vaca. Nick, Leslee, Keith and I rented a hotel room in Dallas for a night to go see Citizen Cope. We checked in at 3 and laid on the rooftop pool before having dinner and going to House of Blues. It actually felt like we were out of town and it was a really nice way to feel like we went on vacation.
• Get back into a workout routine. Endorphins are your BFFs.
• Spring cleaning needs a follow up by the time autumn arrives. Motivate yourself with some Starbucks and dominate the areas you despise- dust boards, the fridge, the laundry room, that closet. . . 

great article.

http://health.yahoo.net/experts/healthieryou/7-tricks-speedier-metabolism

Work it baby.

Nothing inspired me to hit the gym more than the thought of my wedding dress and honeymoon bikini. Now- when I say hit the gym- I never actually stepped into a gym once- “hit the gym” just sounds cool. To get into your ideal wedding day shape- you need to know what inspires you. For me- that is dance and group exercise. You blend those two together with an eclectic mix of music and viola- you get JAZZERCISE. I cannot go on enough about this form of working out. Even if you didn’t dance 20 out of 24 years of your life- you will probably love it. For one, you know you are burning calories and fat because 15 minutes in you are already dying, but you don’t care because you’re shaking your booty to The Veronicas, Fall Out Boy, Michael Bubble, Beyonce, and some random techno songs that are perfect for getting you hyped up. Each class is about 40 minutes of cardio and 20 minutes of strength training. In every class you will work every muscle; some more than others but ALWAYS your abs and outer thighs. And the arm work- ohhhhhh the arm work. I die for these 40 plus year old instructor’s arms. My goal is to become an instructor in the next 3 years.
http://www.jazzercise.com/

In addition to jazzing it up about 3 times a week, I have been practicing Iyengar Yoga for 2 years. This isn’t your purely relaxing, stretch, and pretend to find inner peace yoga. This is work your booty off, use every muscle in your body while properly stretching and strengthening, and find inner peace through hard work and tuning into your heart instead of your head, yoga. I love the discipline of Iyengar yoga because I grew up learning a very strict form of ballet- Cecchetti (we took yearly exams in front of professional dancers and had to use French terms). I think that is why I have stuck with it and will continue to. It’s a challenge but I also feel like I am discovering a tranquil place outside of mind (where I spend the majority of my life planning, organizing, working etc.)
 http://www.bksiyengar.com/

The mix of both of these forms of exercise prepared me for my wedding day and feeling confident beside my hubby on the beach in the Dominican. I am continuing with both even though the inspiration of the approaching day is no longer there. Not going to lie though, it’s definitely harder to get my butt there after working a nine hour day. But I want to be active when I am 70 and starting now is the only way I can get there.

I hear Zumba is amazing and would love to try it out sometime. If you like kickboxing, Turbo- Kick is INSANE! Pole-dancing class will kill you. It’s not just for the sake of just being sexy, it’s for boosting your confidence and getting possibly the best workout around. Not kidding. Just ask my bridesmaids.

Tell me about classes you have tried and what you think.

drink up

Best piece of advice I can possibly give- you’ve heard it 10 million times before but ignored it every time. I started this routine in November of 2008 and my health/skin/energy level has improved dramatically since.


Drink 64 ounces of water a day.

For real- just try it. Yes, it gets super annoying going to the lady’s room soooo many times a day, but it is totally worth it. I can actually notice changes in my appetite, metabolism, water retention, energy levels, and skin! No joke. PLUS I have only been sick about 3 times in the past 2 years compared to being sick about every 3 months of my life previous to this regimen. If you are in need of instructions click here.

Benefits:
· regulate appetite
· increase metabolism
· boost energy levels
· less water retention
· alleviate some headaches
· help reduce blood pressure
· help reduce high cholesterol
· ease joint pain
· decrease in risk of some cancers
· less chance developing kidney stones
· release toxic waste products
· improves skin


thank you http://www.weightlossforall.com/